200 Beats Per Minute

I have struggled with my weight since I was 10.  No wait, that's not right, my mother had to enroll me in swim class when I was 5 because I dove into the deep end of the pool after a Fig Newton and almost drowned.

I know my mother worried.  That's why when I was 14 she had me get on the scales daily and record my weight on the calendar.  This may have not been the best way to help me, the humiliation was great as the calendar was there for all to see, including my thin sisters and step-sisters.  I don't think it was done to be cruel, I think my mother was really worried for her oldest daughter.

When I graduated from high school I was a chubby senior that everyone said was "cute just like a puppy". I've always had issues with yoyo dieting and chocolate is the bane of my existence that I dream of nightly.
 
When I was 21, my father died from a coronary occlusion, he was 150 pounds over weight.

I lost  a significant amount of weight when I moved to California.  I kept it off for almost 10 years.  Then I got pregnant with my son at 35.  I was on the verge of toxemia and on bed rest for 5 months.  So I ate myself into bliss on jalapeno nachos, other Mexican food from Celia's (mmmm, just the thought of Celia's in San Francisco makes me hungry)  and Ben & Jerry's ice cream. When I gave birth, I was the size of a small truck. A cute red Toyota truck, but still a truck.  In San Francisco, you need to be a Jaguar or a Mustang, girly little red trucks don't make it there.

For the last 18 years I have bounced up and down and all around 200+ pounds.  And I've lost 20 pounds at least 10 times.  You would think I would wear a size 0 as many times as I have lost those pounds.

After my scare on 4/29 I decided that I didn't want to go out this way. I also am not pleased that I weigh more than my 6'2" son who wears a size 14 shoe!  I won't reveal what that weight is...yet.  I need to work hard and lose a bit before I admit what that is.  Stay tuned!